I felt like my heart had been torn in half. How could this happen ? I asked the Lord why He could allow this to happen. Why? Why would He take my baby from me? I would never have a chance to hold this little one. Our first. Our precious first baby. Why?
The Lord doesn't always tell us why He allows things to happen. He does tell us that He will be with us when we are walking through it. I don't know why we lost our baby, but God does. God has a very special plan for our lives. Sometimes He makes us walk through things that we think, " How could I ever walk through that? "
He is I Am, He is Alpha and Omega. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. If you are going through a similar heartache, God wants to comfort you. He wants to hold you in His arms. He is our loving Father.
I struggled with this- Why would He bless us with this precious gift if He knew we were going to lose it?
I don't know why we lost our baby. I do know that God has a plan for our life. He has had that plan in place from the beginning of time. I know that my baby has a special place in God's arms, not mine.
It's so easy to be mad, or ask "What did I do to cause this", or "What could I have done to prevent this? "
Truth is there is nothing you can do but pray. Don't blame yourself. That is easy to do. Ask me how I know?
When I was going through this it was so hard for me to talk to the people that would say, "It's ok, It happened for a reason, God has a plan."
In my heart I know all that, I know that God is in control but at that moment it is so hard to hear. I just wanted to be held-too have someone to cry with. I had so many people that did just that. My husband was amazing through this whole thing.
It has been almost a year now and my heart still aches sometimes. I am comforted that my sweet babe is in the arms of the Father. It hasn't been easy but I have learned alot about God's faithfulness and His love.